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I used to cope by binge eating. Yes, I am a binge eater. I have been working on stopping that destructive behavior over the past several years. Honestly, I am actually proud of how far I have come with my binge eating especially over the past year. I had a bit of a setback before our trip to Oklahoma but the episode could be described more as an bad choice instead of a binge. I modified my food intake for the rest of the day after making the bad choice and then moved forward. This is the best way to handle it and I did well. The other day during this anxiety episode, I made a bad choice again but in the end it worked out to a day that was at maintenance calories. I must have needed that because since that day I am down 3.5 lbs as of this morning.
I am still freaking out but at the same time I am taking steps forward.

Right now I am in the car to the family party that I have been dreading since we got the invitation. Too much time away for family that is not close by any means. I doubt that my BIL is driving 4 hours one way to go to the party. Then again, DH doesn't think that they were even invited. At least if the kids were there it would be kinda okay except that they would be running around with their cousins--- something that we haven't been able to give them. But,in the end, they are my in laws and I need to put on a happy face. This is going to be very difficult as I can't even move my head :)

Once again we are running late. Running late because of me. I was having a panic attack. I wasn't going to go today but then again, since we told the guy who is going to repair the dryer vent that we weren't going to be home today I had to go. Hopefully this will turn into a better trip than I anticipate it to be. I am not dressed appropriately for spending the day outside as I only own one pair of Capri's right now and those are really too big but also dirty at the moment.

Updated on Sunday:

Even with all my panic Saturday ended up turning into a nice day. The party was broken up by the storm siren though so not much fun there. Once we got back to the in laws, we ran to the mall to buy the emergency prepaid cell phone that we forgot to pickup the last time we were in town for my in laws. Since they acquiesced to the request to get one as long as we did the leg work we wanted to make sure that they had it before the trip to the lake cottage in a few weeks.

After the trip to the mall we ended up going out to dinner with my dh's best friend and his fiancee. It was an interesting dinner. I have to admit I have been dreading meeting her since we found out. This was based soley on the women that he was previously dating/chasing since I met him 10 years ago. She is sooooo totally not what I expected and I hope that we will continue to spend time with them now that they are going to be married. I was shocked and she is good for him. So win, win I think :) They are still having a very casual wedding and I still need to find an outfit but after hearing about the wedding plans and such I am excited for them.

So...all in all, I unexpectedly faced one of my anxious points (meeting her) and I had a decent time at the picnic party.

Today was an okay day. I pushed through and made it without driving my husband nuts. Today he couldn't see my anxiety and that is an improvement. So on to tomorrow and hopefully the guy will show up in the afternoon to fix the dryer vent instead of on Wednesday... the laundry is piling up and I ran out of time to go to the laundromat.