Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Giving myself some time to digest

The past few weeks have been filled with many things... good and bad. I needed to take some time to digest them and I still am working my way through right now.

I was/am depressed. Not really sure that I still am but I think that the Provera really kicked up the sad/down feelings both while taking it and then while waiting for/during AF. Beyond that, there are other reasons to feel this way. I do feel isolated and I do feel inadequate. My profession has slowed down tremendously and right now the only people that are getting a lot of work are those that are desperate/stupid enough to work for peanuts. We are a licensed profession. We shouldn't have to reduce our fees by 50-75% to compete for work. I can't do that... and I won't do that so needless to say work as been slow.

You would think that this might be a good thing after a few crazy years of feeling like I was working all the time with few breaks and maybe it still will turn out that way. But, instead of getting loads of things accomplished, I have pretty much been mellowing out on the couch or in front of the computer. This gives me an awful lot of time to think and dwell on what might have been vs. what is. Too much time really. Thankfully this week has been a bit busier and I have turned my computer time into looking for alternate ways to earn some money. I found a really interesting part time job opportunity but I haven't finished my resume yet since we don't seem to have any word processing programs on any of the computers we own. I tried to use the library computer and well... they didn't have any templates and the version of word was completely foreign to me. Not a good thing- sounds like I should update some of my skills too during this down time. But I need to get cracking on that, I found a free resume writer on line so maybe that will work.

I'm still digesting the adoption seminar but I will say that it went fine. No need to be a nervous wreck. It reminded me of part of the reason that I chose my field of study in college and well... again, I need to digest.

It's funny... today really put into perspective that adage that a watched pot never boils. I was just hanging out for most of the day but the moment I left my phone inside and went outside to do some yard work all heck broke loose. So, I am off to finish getting ready for my appointments tomorrow, work on my resume, and finish the never ending loads of laundry that seem to live in our house.

Hope it was/is a wonderful Hump day!


Lollipop Goldstein said...

It's funny--at the start of the post, you sound depressed and by the end, you sound like you're in a place of peace. Not sure what the truth is on the inside (or if it fluctuates too much to put into a neat box like that). Just sending a hug.

Cynthia said...

Sending a hug, too! I agree with Lollipop! Take care!