Saturday, May 17, 2008

Open Letter to Tenants

Dear Tenants,

When your landlord is having some type of service completed on the property that you rent, please keep the following in mind:

1. Please come to the door fully dressed. I do not need to see your naked body or any other part of your body during this appointment. I am not here to scope you out or to conduct an audition for America's Next Top Model. I am here to work and your various state of undress may prove to be a distraction-good or bad.

2. Just like a homeowner-- pick up your underwear off the floor. Enough said.

3. Please put away any and all drug paraphernalia. While I don't know much about all that stuff, I still recognize common items. Please don't put me in the awkward situation of being a bystander to illegal behavior. Yes, in this here state in the Midwest US of A, it is illegal.

4. Better yet, please don't smoke pot while I am in your rental property. Going to my next appointment smelling of weed does not make a good impression.

5. Explaining to me why you have a giant tv and no bed really doesn't improve my impression of the situation or the property. I am here to do my work, not to judge you. But you make it hard when you tell me that you had to sell the bed to pay the rent... my choice would have been the tv.

6. I already know the neighborhood I am working in... telling me that you have to keep your grandbabies inside so that they can stay alive does not positively impact my work for your landlord. It may hinder it, so please spare me the details of why all the outdoor toys are inside. Since I would only schedule the appointment for the morning, you should realize that I know the risks of being outside of your house. Also, detailing all of the burglaries that have occurred on that property and the rest of the block might not be a good idea. Your landlord would appreciate it if you tone down your truthfulness.

7. Thank you for putting your dog outside while I am in your home. Next time, please remember to bring him in when I have to be outside.

8. Even though it isn't your property... most likely you are still responsible to clean it. Lysol bath and tile cleaner can work wonders and may prevent you from getting feet fungus.

9. Breaking stuff and then not telling your landlord about it until I ask about it puts me in the middle. Be forthcoming with your landlord, especially when you know that he made an appointment for someone to be in your unit.

10. If exterior maintenance is part of your lease, you really should do whatever is appropriate before the service provider comes to the property. Crawling through weeds to get my work done makes me itch and creates a negative attitude about my work at your property. Your landlord may feel the brunt of that attitude and that really isn't fair to them.

11. If your landlord calls you about setting up a time, by all means, call them back. They aren't coming there to collect extra rent, just to make your life and their life easier.

Thank you to those of you who protect your landlords property and cooperate in a timely manner. It makes my life easier and it gives me less to complain about. Plus, when I can smoothly complete my work at a property, I get things done quicker. Thank you!

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