The holiday season seems to get harder and harder each year for me.  I wish that I could just sit back and enjoy the preparation, food, and family without any resentment but I can't.  I can't let myself get to that point to enjoy what I have.  I don't want what I have if I can't have what I want.  Why is that?  Why can't I just enjoy family times, workfree days, and good food?
Because to me, my life, seems to be doing nothing.  I don't feel I have a purpose since I am not building a future.  I want so much to be Thankful for what I have and what I am right now but I don't know how because of the wall that bitterness has built around me.  
Hopefully, I can figure out a way to break that wall... but right now, I can't even see thru it.
1 comment:
You said exactly what I feel most days. I should be thankful for my job and my lifestyle, but it feels like I'm on a treadmill no purpose, no reason, and yes the holidays bite.
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