I have no creative juices for a title right now...

This Memorial Day Weekend has not turned out in anyway that was perceived as imaginable at this point last week. I never expected the call that I got on Friday and I never expected to be in my husband's hometown planning his father's funeral. He was tragically killed and we still don't know all of the details. While understanding what happened is important sometimes it isn't what you want to hear.

Through this weekend I have seen a different side of most of his family. His mother has been much stronger than I would have been at this time. Her kids make her stronger. I fear for the time when no one is here and she can't cope.

My brother in law took on the role expected as the oldest son. I wasn't sure that he would do that. He distances himself often from his family and so it could have been that he didn't want to do anything. Yet, he is still having issues coping.

My sister in law is not the independent feminist woman I expected her to be. She is much more like her mother than she cares to admit at times.

My other sister in law, while complaining about how things need to be so they are not inconvenient for her and her family has actually taken a hands off role which I wasn't sure would happen.

My husband... is stronger than he admits and has more courage than he would ever believe. I wouldn't have wanted him to leave my side during this time but maybe his family helps that since I don't have siblings to lean on.

Me, I still am selfish. I was whining about not wanting to visit my inlaws this weekend because of his mother's smoking. We didn't go last weekend because I didn't want to be rushed on getting the bathroom ready. I am selfish and now I caused my husband and myself to have several weeks go by without seeing his parents. Now Thursday we will see his father displayed and then determine if he is presentable to the public.

This is not how this weekend should have been. This is not how I would have imagined it. I hate that I am not at my husbands side to help hold him up but hopefully his family is doing the best they can.

In the middle...

of about a gazillion things and while I would love to talk about some of them, I just plain can't so here I sit silent. What I can say is that right now:

* We don't have a working shower

* The contractor is already behind and we are coming up to a holiday weekend

* I don't want to go to visit certain family members without a working shower

* Unless we can get a hotel room after the fact

* That is mean but unfortunately the truth

* We have tons of fruits and veggies to use this week

* We don't have a working shower and only one toilet... AF is attempting to stop by on time this month

* Right now there is a pile of garbage on our lawns and I can only assume that half of the neighbors are silently cursing us out about it

* the other half maybe jealous that we are getting a new bathroom... or they may not be

* I am nervous that in the end it isn't going to look half as good as it does in my head

* I like having a grill---just trying to feel it out and sometimes this leads to charred food

* I have a bout of pleurisy and can't breath very deep right now without pain

* This also leads me to not wanting to visit said family members but have no choice in the matter currently as it has been put off the last two weeks

* I probably shouldn't have said this much

Things creeping me out these days...

1. The little girl on the toliet in the new Target commerical... EWWW and so unnecessary.

2. The waiters hitting on my husband...enough said.

3. The fact that we have ants in our upstairs bathroom.

4. The idea that the best man at our wedding... who just got married in August will be a parent before we will.

5. The construction trucks driving up and down our street, sometimes like they are just circling the block.

6. That it is already May 12th..........