Answers?

Well Maybe? The lap, which was more complicated than it should have been due to a blood vessel injury, showed that I do have Endometriosis. Shouldn't really be surprised by that as I have read that since my mom had it I was 5-10 times more likely to have it depending on the source that I read. It wasn't in any spots that would allow it to be completely removed but she did free the organs and things that were stuck together so that alone should help with my pain level. The good news is that it was not on my ovaries or tubes and the tubes were clear. Now to decide what to do. We are thinking a 3 month course of Lupron if we can afford it.

Off to the dr today for a follow up and to see if she will release me for work. She said I could go back if I could drive without narcotics and until yesterday I hadn't made it a full day without any narcotic pain meds though I did take some at night to sleep. Today I am trying again to not take any and have actually gotten up, taken a shower, and gotten dressed. It looks nasty outside so I guess I won't be trying to go for a walk to the mail box. Right now though I am ready for a nap. I have 5 orders waiting with due dates of at least next Wednesday so I really want to try and get back in the work groove.

Hope all is well out there is cyberland.

tomorrow, Tomorrow...

The sun's already out but hopefully the answer will be coming out tomorrow. I have surgery set up for sometime in the morning and they are looking for the answer to the abdominal pain but also will be checking to see if my tubes are clear. It seems like it took forever to get to this point but I'm waiting for it to be over...

Weird Space

Well hello there... it has been awhile. Things have been a bit crazy around here. I ended up in the emergency room again so now I am waiting for the surgery scheduler to call and set up a time to do a lap with a tube test. I chose to skip Lupron for now as we don't even know if this is endo or some other problem. Seems crazy to treat with nasty hormones when I have had such a bad reaction to hormonal birth control in the past. The pain from the surgery might last a few weeks but the hormones may mess up something all together. My ob/gyn has thrown around the I word a lot in her notes so the scheduler said that there is a possibility that our insurance company will deny to pay for the surgery. A letter of medical necessity might change their minds but since that isn't always successful we just won't know until it's all scheduled and authorized. I am scheduled for a 21 day progesterone test. Not sure if I will do it on the 11th or if I will just wait for another cycle. I almost think I will just wait because getting pregnant right now is the least of my worries, however, if this is endo than supposedly pregnancy helps with the pain. ;( Right now I would just love to have a few days of no pain and no period. These days I am only close to pain free during my period. Not typical of endo which is the other reason for not choosing Lupron. My doctor said something about just having bad Mittelschmerz. But 5-8 days of severe abdominal pain with almost continuous pain throughout the rest of the cycle? Vomiting/nausea and pain all the way up to my shoulder? If that is the case, please, take my ovaries because I can't deal with this anymore.

Please tell me that some time it will get easier!

I thought I was prepared. I knew it was coming. I knew that they were trying. Why is it that a simple "We're Pregnant" can still rock my world even though I am so, so very happy for them! The couple that is pregnant has tried for 5 years for their second child and the poor man's fertility method worked out of the blue for them (3 cycles on the pill and then boom on the 4th). I'm trying so very hard because I am really really thrilled for them but at the same time I am just so very sad for myself and my husband. We have come to terms that we won't be parents unless we come into some money in the future. We just don't have the funds to move forward with adoption or anything else right now and probably never will. So here we are... and this place is just as painful as it was before the work I did on accepting our situation. This sucks.

April Challenge

I was trying to think of what goals I wanted to set for April and got stuck on a few so I decided to let the month dictate.

A=Accountability -- I am going to log my food again, make my trackers public, and post it on another message board that I am part of on a daily basis/regular basis.

P=Physical activity -- I will get in 10 min of cardio per day or at least 6 strength exercises each day

R=Read -- I will get back to reading for fun again with at least 15 min per day

I=Intake -- I will log my intake on sparkpeople and aim to be under 175 grams of carbs per day

L=Liquid -- I will drink at least 8 cups of water per day, limit pop to 1x per week, and drink at least 1 cup of tea per day.

Since I am starting this tomorrow I will weigh in just to get a starting number for these goals.

Anyone want to join me or have their own April challenge going on?

Thankful

The mass is a cyst that lost half of it's size between the ultrasound and the MRI. No surgery yet. I have to go for another meeting with the dildocam in about 6-8 weeks and hopefully it will be gone. Since the pain I am having is still around on the right side and the right side cyst is gone the search for other issues is on. I have a call into the Gastro to work on scheduling a colonscopy. Both the PCP and the ob/gyn said that would be the next step at this point. Hopefully I can get in there next week or the week after.

On another note, I have a reunion with some women I went to Jr High with. Before I was excited but now, not so much. I was hoping to have a reason for my pain and now I am worried that if I say yes, I will feel awful that day and not want to go. This part of the issue is what sucks big time.