Hrumph...

Anyone have any ideas on how to ease neck/head pain? I woke up last Thursday with pain in my neck and the back of my head. It had eased and was only a problem when I tilted my head back and pain would shoot up the back of my skull. But today it is back with a vengeance and I don't know what I did differently. I am guessing that it started from a bad night of sleep and a cruddy pillow but now I have no clue why it came back. It is hurting when I move my neck any which way and Tylenol just isn't cutting it. I used the last of the Advil and forgot to have DH get some on his way home due to some contractor distractions.

So any tips are appreciated. It never really went all the way away when I did take Advil anyways.

Couples Meme

I got this one in my email. I tag anyone who wants to play. Maybe we can come up with more questions....


Couples Meme--- Answer the questions with both you and your partner in mind. Copy and paste into a new email and send to your couple friends.

1. What question is repeated the most around your house?

Did you feed the cat?

2. What phrase is heard most often from both of you?

Right now it is "shit or get off the pot"


3. Who washes the dishes?
He does

4. Who does the laundry?
I do

5. Petnames/Nicknames?
Monty/Babe

6. Favorite dinner menu?
Texas Roadhouse :)... uh well, the only regular repeat is Balsamic chicken with mushrooms and we haven't had that in ages.

7. Sex---Plain vanilla or hot and spicy?
A little bit of both... ;)
8. Time served?

Almost 8 years legally, 11 years total

Mobile Blog Post

I used to cope by binge eating. Yes, I am a binge eater. I have been working on stopping that destructive behavior over the past several years. Honestly, I am actually proud of how far I have come with my binge eating especially over the past year. I had a bit of a setback before our trip to Oklahoma but the episode could be described more as an bad choice instead of a binge. I modified my food intake for the rest of the day after making the bad choice and then moved forward. This is the best way to handle it and I did well. The other day during this anxiety episode, I made a bad choice again but in the end it worked out to a day that was at maintenance calories. I must have needed that because since that day I am down 3.5 lbs as of this morning.
I am still freaking out but at the same time I am taking steps forward.

Right now I am in the car to the family party that I have been dreading since we got the invitation. Too much time away for family that is not close by any means. I doubt that my BIL is driving 4 hours one way to go to the party. Then again, DH doesn't think that they were even invited. At least if the kids were there it would be kinda okay except that they would be running around with their cousins--- something that we haven't been able to give them. But,in the end, they are my in laws and I need to put on a happy face. This is going to be very difficult as I can't even move my head :)

Once again we are running late. Running late because of me. I was having a panic attack. I wasn't going to go today but then again, since we told the guy who is going to repair the dryer vent that we weren't going to be home today I had to go. Hopefully this will turn into a better trip than I anticipate it to be. I am not dressed appropriately for spending the day outside as I only own one pair of Capri's right now and those are really too big but also dirty at the moment.

Updated on Sunday:

Even with all my panic Saturday ended up turning into a nice day. The party was broken up by the storm siren though so not much fun there. Once we got back to the in laws, we ran to the mall to buy the emergency prepaid cell phone that we forgot to pickup the last time we were in town for my in laws. Since they acquiesced to the request to get one as long as we did the leg work we wanted to make sure that they had it before the trip to the lake cottage in a few weeks.

After the trip to the mall we ended up going out to dinner with my dh's best friend and his fiancee. It was an interesting dinner. I have to admit I have been dreading meeting her since we found out. This was based soley on the women that he was previously dating/chasing since I met him 10 years ago. She is sooooo totally not what I expected and I hope that we will continue to spend time with them now that they are going to be married. I was shocked and she is good for him. So win, win I think :) They are still having a very casual wedding and I still need to find an outfit but after hearing about the wedding plans and such I am excited for them.

So...all in all, I unexpectedly faced one of my anxious points (meeting her) and I had a decent time at the picnic party.

Today was an okay day. I pushed through and made it without driving my husband nuts. Today he couldn't see my anxiety and that is an improvement. So on to tomorrow and hopefully the guy will show up in the afternoon to fix the dryer vent instead of on Wednesday... the laundry is piling up and I ran out of time to go to the laundromat.

Still panicking...

Not as often but just as bad. Talking about it doesn't seem to be helping either since it just makes my husband mad. I woke up on Thursday with a very stiff neck and I can't seem to figure out how to make the pain go away.

I need this to get better... I need to stop freaking out about stuff and the only way that I know to do that is to get stuff done. But, the more that gets done, the more that I find that needs to get done so it is not helping.

I can function. I can do this. I can calm down. This needs to be my mantra.

It sure as hell doesn't help that we have a family party tomorrow that will take 4 hours to drive one way to and I have at least 12 hours of work that must get done this weekend.

I'm trying... but it is not working.

Please be gone tomorrow...

Today I am feeling very anxious. I had a few panic attacks even when I was out on appointments. A few since I have been home too. I can't concentrate and I hate feeling this way. I don't understand where this anxiety came from. I haven't had this happen in a really long time and I don't know how to fix it right now because trying to solve it is overwhelming me even more. I felt a bit better when the dryer guy left and the bill was less than it would have been if we had automatically called the guy we were planning on calling. But the anxiety came back or never really left. When I feel this way dark thoughts are always working in the background. Things that make me scared about how I am thinking. I don't like this. Tomorrow needs to be a better mental day. I am going into the office to see if that helps a bit since I have been feeling trapped at home while working since my laptop broke.

I don't know if the whole visit to the cemetery sparked this or the discussion about trying to find an appropriate outfit for a very casual wedding and realizing that I am fatter than I have been in 5 years, but I am not going to pretend that it isn't happening. Most days life is fine and I can move past any dark or anxious thoughts to live my life. Today for some reason I am panicked and I don't like it one bit.

In my effort to not whine and complain too much I am stuck in a position with not a lot to blog about because it has been a pretty cruddy few days. On top of that, I have somehow managed to get behind again at work in the matter of just 3 days.

However, one thing to sorta be happy about is that DH just up and ordered me a laptop that will work instead of cleaning off my old one to be repaired. It was sort of selfish of him because now he will take over that one when it gets fixed. It wasn't the one that I really wanted but he is fearful that I would break a tablet on a jobsite so I will just have to wait for future technological advances. I would love to find a cellphone/pocket pc combo that is powerful enough to run my software on it but so far I have only found standalone pocket pc's that can support it. Soon though hopefully someone will come out with a bigger one, unless of course I am just looking in the wrong place.

So hopefully tomorrow we will be able to download my work software on the new laptop because I can't find the key codes tonight so I need to get them from my office and I will be back to being able to work on the move. Hopefully it will help. Plus now that it is hot out and DH is refusing to run the CAC because we haven't had the guy out yet this year, it is really sticking hot up here. One of these years, we will get the extreme temperature difference issue resolved but umm.. we have to solve a few other issues first. Whoops, I better stop before I start ranting about all the crud that needs to get done right now. We are in the middle of a money suck again and of course it came right after we started spending money on ourselves again. At least the laptop is a write off and gets depreciated on our taxes.

Stay cool!